Armia tatuśka

The platoon join in ’Spitfire Week’ parade, but have to compete with the Sea Scouts and the ARP for pole position. Mainwaring thinks a mascot will help – but when Pike falls in a bog as they try to catch a ram, their plans go awry.

The platoon takes part in an exercise to capture a windmill containing Captain Square’s men – they must plant a dummy bomb in the windmill.

Captain Mainwaring is concerned with the three Fs – fast feet, fit feet and functional feet. He embarks on a foot toughening regime, including 20 miles route marches and playing football in bare feet.

Pike gets caught in barbed wire on the beach, in the middle of a mine field. But the Army engineers are slow to arrive, and it is up to the platoon to save him.

The platoon have been sent to guard a camp full of Italian POWs – but Walker’s attitude to them makes Mainwaring wonder whether he is a fifth columnist.

In Mainwaring’s absence, the platoon forego parade to compete in a darts match against the ARP wardens – but when Mainwaring arrives back he is appalled and orders Wilson to bring them back.

The platoon man a local lighthouse as defence against a seaborne assault – but when the light is switched on and the town is illuminated during an air-raid, Jones’ section must come up with an ingenious plan to turn it off.

Jones has extensive battle experience – but when one of his comrades from the Sudan, Clarke, turns up and accuses him of cowardice.

Mainwaring allows female members into his platoon – but with Mrs. Mainwaring still at home, the Captain takes a shine to a younger woman. Rumours begin to circulate that there is more to their relationship than immediately visible.

The ARP challenge the Home Guard to a game of cricket, but while Mainwaring is happy to play fair, Hodges has a secret weapon – Ernie Egan, a professional cricketer.

Mainwaring is shocked to discover that Wilson has been commissioned, and even more shocked when he finds out that Wilson has been made manager of the Eastgate branch, leaving Pike as his Chief Clerk and Jones as his Sergeant.

After the ARP HQ is bombed out, the platoon are forced to share the church hall with the ARP wardens. Mainwaring protests to anyone who will listen, and they are ordered to leave – but not for another week.

Captain Square gets Mainwaring drunk in the Officers Mess, ending up thoroughly inebriated – only a truly heroic action can repair his damaged reputation in the eyes of his men.