Armia tatuśka

The platoon are given the job of signposting the area for an Army exercise – but a steam engine is blocking the route, and its driver has gone. When Jones tries to drive his van through, he gets stuck, along with Hodges in his van and the vicar with his bus load of pensioners.

A landmine has destroyed 100 yards of railway track, along with water and gas supplies and telephone wires. Mainwaring declares martial law.

On a field exercise acting as commandos meeting a secret agent (Mainwaring), the platoon must trust no-one – GHQ has put out counter agents to catch them. The appearance of a gorilla compounds their problem.

The platoon are dressing up as morris dancers as part of a carnival to raise money for the town’s Spitfire fund, which is still £2,000 short. A Lady Godiva figure will lead the parade, but there is confusion over who this will be.

Lady Maltby has donated her Rolls-Royce to the war effort – Mainwaring decides this would make an excellent staff car, and gives it to Wilson and Pike to camouflage – they are providing the guard of honour for a visiting French general.

After Jones mistakenly shoots a turkey on patrol, and its owner cannot be found, the platoon decide to hold a turkey dinner and treat the town’s senior citizens.