Barney Miller

Internal Affairs shows up at the station to find the anonymous letter writer who claims to be gay.

Wojo arrests a man with a literally messianic complex, while a gallant thief steals a woman’s purse.

A series of false alarms implies that a sniper is after a cop, but the station is preoccupied with vacation schedules and the case of a man who refuses to donate a kidney to his brother.

A monk comes to the station to notify the disappearance of a novice, while Dietrich dresses in drag to catch muggers.

A Burmese national is a slave to a countryman.

A man says he’ll die of spontaneous combustion, while a strip joint disrupts a bookstore’s peace and quiet.

Wojo mourns his parrot’s death, while Harris needs everyone’s signed release to get his police fiction published.

A thief becomes a virtual zombie as a result of neurosurgery, while religious morals prevent a robbery victim from calling home.

A judge attacks a lawyer with a gavel, while a soap-opera fan is unable to tell between fact and fiction.

A woman believes her husband has been replaced by a clone, while a potentially infected strain of DNA is stolen from a lab.

A dentist is accused of molesting his patients, while a musician is brought into the station for disturbing the peace.

A group of vigilantes are brought into the station for imprisoning a thief, while a census-taker is booked for breaking into a house just to count heads.

Harris vanishes when he goes undercover at a skid-row mission.

While Harris is still missing, Luger gets demoted to captain.

A divorced gay man attempts to kidnap his son, while another man claims to be from the future.

A thief uses a dueling pistol, while a man steals the station’s TV just because his is being held for evidence.

Harris shows up to the station on Uniform Day in natty street clothes.

Against regulations, Dietrich joins an anti-nuclear protest, while Barney is unable to afford his condo-converted apartment.

Dietrich being arrested at the protest leads to a visit from Internal Affairs.

An architect claims to have planted bombs in a building.

An investor is busted for stealing his own ideas from a company safe, while Wojo is hypnotized into remembering details about the robbery he witnessed.

While Barney copes with his third failed chance at a promotion, a trumpeter is booked for assault and another man is arrested for vandalism.