Imperium Brittasa

One of Brittas’s enemies is coating random items with glue, and shady characters keep appearing in the centre. This leads to a bloody massacre in the squash courts, the felling of several OAPs and Brittas facing trial for multiple murder and drug-running.

Offended by Brittas’s "individual figure and fitness targets", the staff are refusing to speak to him. Brittas’s diplomatic response is to bring in a psychiatrist to check staff anxiety levels. Meanwhile, a deadly tropical spider is roaming the centre and it is only a matter of time before it attacks.

While Brittas prepares to welcome Sebastian Coe to the "Expansion in the Leisure Market" Conference, Laura is off to a job interview. Helen is terrified that without Laura, the centre will not be able to cope. A concussed Colin is sent to adjust the heating in the pool, leading to shocking consequences. Carole has moved her children back into the reception drawers.

The centre enjoys anniversary celebrations, Gordon’s brother – the Reverend Horatio Brittas – is visiting and thirty six staff from a leisure centre in Guildford are visiting for their annual staff outing. As always things do not run smoothly: the centre’s oil tank begins leaking, the leaked oil is then brought inside and stored in the weights room to prevent it from being struck by lightning – but a firework is accidentally set off in Brittas’s office, which finds its way along the corridor to the weights room, resulting in a large explosion and fire.

Laura’s estranged Husband, Michael T. Farrell, has arrived at the centre desperate for an heir to secure his fortune. Brittas is not happy and endeavours to get rid of him, despite being on a sponsored silence and finding out that Helen is about to be charged with shoplifting. The staff are also hooked on the drafts of a novel that Carole has written.

Troubled by dreams about his own mortality and the future of "The Dream", Brittas is pushing age awareness and resorts to disguising himself as an elderly man as an experiment. The result is a fight in Reception during which Brittas breaks a pensioner’s glasses. However events are considered trivial when Helen goes into labour early and needs to be dashed to the hospital. To her horror Brittas drives her there, thus Helen giving birth in the high street.