Nasz człowiek w parlamencie

After appearing on a TV talk show in which he explains his view on the issue of abortion Alan discovers while driving home that there is as much as £1 billion worth of oil located beneath the Hackney Marshes.

Alan discovers that the introduction of television cameras to the House of Commons is the greatest opportunity of his career yet. After a few fiery speeches on the floor, he quickly becomes a superstar.

Looking for an opportunity to recruit nubile, under-aged girls to have sex with, Alan becomes the parliamentary patron of the newly-formed "Young Ladies’ Recreational Association".

Alan’s old friend offers to let him in on the ground floor of a scheme to exploit General Pinochet’s new slavery program for a profit.

Alan and Piers fly to Hollywood, where they attend a party thrown by a major film producer, to whom Alan intends to pitch the idea of a Dallas-style soap opera set in the House of Commons.

Piers’ announcement that he is engaged to be married is met with derision by Alan, who charges him £500 for the "privilege" of having Alan as his best man.

In Yorkshire to attend a horse race in which his horse is the favourite, Alan holds a rare surgery, during which he charges a farmer to have a bypass rerouted around his farm and cons a senile elderly woman out of her home.

Special episode. Britain is in shock at the attempted assassination of Alan, which has left him comatose and fighting for his life in the hospital.