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Three years after the events of "Profit of Boom", Alan secures his release from the gulag and returns to England to a hero’s welcome.

Alan, now MEP for the constituency of Obersaxony, is approached by his old patron Sir Greville with a proposition - acting in the employ of Big Tobacco, wishes for Alan to manipulate Piers into getting the European Commission to legalise cannabis.

After being forced to translate a pornographic magazine for him, the head of the European Parliament’s simultaneous translation department informs Alan that he will no longer have the translators’ cooperation on anything ever again.

Having arranged for Nicolae Ceauºescu Jr. to sneak into Germany amongst a group of refugees in exchange for half of a hidden treasure, Alan finds his scheme imperiled when hundreds of neo-Nazis begin to riot and lay siege to the hostel where the refugees are being housed.

Soon after purchasing Robert Maxwell’s luxury yacht Alan announces that he will use the yacht to transport a cargo of humanitarian aid to war-torn Herzegovina.

With the economic crisis in Britain showing no signs of stopping, Alan worries that he may lose his fortune for good, and so hatches his most audacious plot yet.

Special episode. Alan B’Stard MP has returned to domestic Parliament following a Welsh by-election conspicuous by the absence of any opponents. They were found after polling day at the bottom of a coal mine.